PARENTING TIPS: TALKING ABOUT SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS TO OUR TEENAGERS

As parents, we can really make a difference when we talk with our kids. In fact, teens often name their parents as the biggest influence when making decisions. The question that arises here is how can we talk effectively to our teenage kids. As Ms Hanlie Muliani underlined in OLIFANT School for Parents event, last Friday, "Studies have shown that children only listen to us when "preaching "on average 7%, when at the same moment they pay attention 55% in our body language". 

In other words, the communication between us and our children is of a great importance and it is equally important for our kids, to show them our care with facial expressions.

We can help our teenage kids deal with topics related to sexuality starting when they are young and we can continue their guidance throughout their lives. Sexuality includes a wide range of topics including male and female bodies and how they work, human development, reproduction, types of relationships, what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy, and sexual behaviour.

Parents really can make a difference. We can talk with our kids, build strong relationships with them, and set clear expectations and boundaries for them. 

Everyday life provides lots of opportunities for talking about sexuality. When watching a TV show that shows a young person going through puberty or going out on a date, seeing an ad that prompts thoughts about body acceptance, or running into a pregnant neighbour, we can initiate conversations with our children. These teachable moments occur every day, and can help make the conversation easier and more natural. 

It’s important to give our kids truthful, useful, and accurate information that conveys our own values about sexuality and relationships. It helps to think ahead of time about what messages we want to express. For example, a common topic that comes up with children is the difference between boys and girls or men and women. Some parents might want to convey the feeling that boys and girls are mostly the same except for some body parts, and boys and girls can do the same things. Other parents may want to express the belief that boys and girls are quite different from one another in many ways. 

Talking about sexuality may be uncomfortable at first, but it will get easier in time. Being open to discussing sexuality can be challenging but it can help us to strengthen our overall relationship with our children.

Listening to children shows them that we’re interested in and respect what they have to say. We don’t always have to agree with what we hear, but it is important to pay attention to what they say.